If you are thinking of ending your life, please read this first

Hello

You’re likely reading this as you’ve reached crisis point, and you’re considering ending your life by suicide. You may have found this page from one of the notes placed on a bridge – and I’m glad you’ve found it.

Firstly, it’s wonderful that you’ve opened this page and you have decided to read it. That’s an amazing and brave thing to do.

Secondly, I understand that you’re feeling like you have no other option, and that is why you’re here now. And as you are here, I am hoping you will feel able to have a read through this short list. At the bottom of this list I have also listed some places you can call and some people you can talk to, who will listen to you and try and help you through this tough time.

Thirdly, I’m not writing this as a counsellor/psychotherapist – I am just using space on my website to provide this for you. I am talking to you as a fellow human being.

Thinking about suicide happens when our pain exceeds the resources we have to cope with it. Surviving feelings of suicide are dealt with by either 1) reducing our pain, or 2) increases our coping resources. It may sound a lot right now, but try your best to read this short list.

  • You are not alone. You may feel like you are right now, but I promise you that you are not. There is always someone you can talk to, day or night, that can help you get through this. If there isn’t a friend or family member you can call, there are some wonderful people at organisations at the bottom of this list who are here for you. Please consider calling them.
  • This will pass. You may be feeling very low right now, but the feeling of wanting to die by suicide – although strong – is not one that will be there forever. Feelings, both good and bad, come in ebbs and flows – this feeling isn’t permanent.
  • Consider trying a grounding exercise. This is good to try if you feel your mind is racing, as it takes you back to the ‘here and now’. It goes as follows: Name 5 Things You Can See >>> 4 Things You Can Feel >>> 3 Things You Can Hear >>> 2 Things You Can Taste/Smell >>> 1 Breathe (in for 5, out for 7). You can repeat this as many time as you like, until you can feel yourself relax somewhat.
  • There is beauty in the world that you have yet to see. There may even be some around you right now that you haven’t yet felt able to notice due to feeling the way that you do. If you did find this page from a note on a bridge, what can you see out there that is beautiful? Are there any animals? What is the view like? What in your everyday life has passed you by that has some beauty in it? There is plenty more that you still can experience, too.
  • It is always darkest before the dawn. This may be an ancient quote from the 1600s, but it still holds true. There is no sunlight right now, but it’s coming. Things can only go up when you are at your lowest point.
  • Laughter is healing, and you can still experience it. Laughter may be the last thing on your mind right now, but I encourage you to think about the last time you really laughed – how good did it feel? Laughter is healing. When you laugh, your Sympathetic Nervous System relaxes (which is involved with your Fight or Flight anxiety response to danger), and your Parasympathetic Nervous System is activated (which is involved in ‘Rest and Digest’ – restoring the body to a state of calm). There may be something you can think of that’s made you laugh before, but in case you can’t think of anything right now maybe this or this could help.
  • You are still here reading this right now. You may still be feeling very low, but you are still here, which is wonderful. Something has stopped you and kept you safe – and it isn’t just this page, as you wouldn’t have come here if something inside you (even if it only seems small) wanted to keep you safe. Can you think what that might be? What has made you feel like it is worth sticking around?
  • You don’t need to have the future all planned out, you can take it day by day. Or even hour by hour. Or minute by minute. Things may not always go to plan, but there is always an opportunity for positive change somewhere in your future.
  • You matter. As cliché as it sounds (and I apologise for that) you do matter.

Thank you for reading this far, it’s great that you have. Remember at the beginning I mentioned about increasing coping resources? I’m hoping that being able to stop and read through some of the above has given you some relief – but a really good coping resource is having someone to talk to.

Listed below are some suggestions for who you can call right now, as there is always someone, somewhere, who is able to talk to you (and although there are contact details elsewhere on this website, I am afraid I cannot provide a crisis service as I do not have the facility to be able to do that; and I am not talking to you as a counsellor right now, but someone who is standing with you).

Remember, you do matter, and this, too, shall pass.

In the case of an immediate danger, call 999

Samaritans (for everyone)
Call 116 123 – 24 hours
Email [email protected]

Childline (for children and young people under 19) 
Call 0800 1111 – 24 hours (the number won’t show up on your phone bill)

Papyrus (for people under 35)
Call 0800 068 41 41 – Monday to Friday 10am to 10pm, weekends 2pm to 10pm, bank holidays 2pm to 5pm 
Text 07786 209697
Email[email protected]

The Silver Line (for people over 55)
Call 0800 4 70 80 90 – 24 hours

Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) (for men)
Call 0800 58 58 58 – 5pm to midnight every day
Visit the webchat page

DISCLAIMER: Although I am a counsellor/psychotherapist, I have not written this page from a counselling/psychotherapy perspective – I have written as one person speaking to another.

I have not placed messages on bridges to advertise for my business, nor am I getting any financial gain for doing this (for example, I am not claiming back anything related to this – such as craft materials or mileage for any related journeys – on my tax return). This was done purely to try and help people in need; person-to-person, human-to-human.

I also cannot provide a crisis service, which is why I have signposted the names, numbers, and websites of organisations who can help those in need.